


Let Me Let Go

by TaraLaurel1



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 07:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraLaurel1/pseuds/TaraLaurel1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy's inner thoughts after she saves the high school and the world from the mayor during graduation. This is in the moment where she sees Angel for the last time before he leaves. What she was thinking in those few seconds. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Let Go

"Fire bad. Tree pretty."

What am I thinking? What am I doing? I can't think – I can't do. All I can do, is see.

I just saved the school. Heck, I pretty much just saved the world, again. I should be hitting the mall to reward myself or celebrating with my friends, like normal girls. Then again, normal girls usually don't save the world. Still, I can't do any of that stuff. I can't even smile, I can't even move. All I can do, is see.

I know there are sirens and crying surrounding me, but their sounds never meet my ears. All I can hear is the shattering of my heart, again.

I don't know what is harder, killing him, or watching him leave me. Leave. Leave and maybe never come back. Oh God, I can't do this. I tried to be strong. I tried to be brave Buffy, but all I want to be is  _his_ Buffy. Maybe he'll change his mind. Maybe he will run over to me like in the movies and he will tell me he isn't going anywhere.

He isn't moving, not towards me anyway. Oh God, oh no. This isn't real. This can't be real. He didn't come back from Hell just to leave again.

His eyes pierce through mine and straight into my heart, into my very being. It is then I know, there is no hope for us. He isn't going to hurl towards me and swoop me up into his arms. He's leaving, he's really leaving.

_Angel!_

I want to scream his name and beg him to stay, to not leave me. I don't think I can handle anymore heartache. I don't think I will be able to hold it together. I don't –

I look up, forcing back tears, to face a now empty space where Angel just stood.  _Gone._

I can't breathe. It hurts too much. Everything hurts. In this split second, I wish I would have been eaten by a giant snake. Then, for a moment, I wish the same fate on Angel. Rage floods my body but only lasts a minute.

I can't be mad at the person I love, the person I may never see again.

I turn around to join my friends, reverting back to strong Buffy, for them.

They say you never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back. Well, I got what I lost back, and then lost it again. I wonder what  _they_ would say now?


End file.
